AIDSfree: Diagnosis day changed our lives — that’s why we celebrate it each year
Larry Scott-Walker and Daniel Driffin can rattle off the date they tested positive for HIV as easily as their birthdays. So can Alfonso Miller.
In fact, so can most of the 1,000-odd members of the group they run in Atlanta to help gay men living with the virus. But they do not simply remember the date — they celebrate it. In an act of empowerment that may initially make little sense to an outsider, many choose to mark the day that altered their lives with both reflection and festivity.
In the same way that many in the LGBT+ community reclaimed the power of slurs such as “queer”, so these men have taken control of the day that a generation ago would have meant something much darker. They mark their so-called “seroversaries” (the date they tested positive) in different ways... a drink with friends or a quiet dinner. A woman they know in New Orleans is this year marking her 25th seroversary with a blow-out for more than 100 guests.
“Once you’re living with HIV, no amount of shame is going to change it, so celebrate it,” says Scott-Walker, 39, who, like Driffin, is one of the group’s co-founders. “Celebrate the way your life has changed since you were tested. A lot of amazing things have happened to me since I admitted I had HIV.”
Miller, 27, the group’s storytelling project manager, said: “Mentally, it is so important. It’s a complete change in life. By calling it a seroversary, I focus on the point my life changed.”
The three men — gay, black and living with the HIV virus — are members of Transforming HIV Resentment into Victories Everlasting Support Services, or Thrive SS. It is one of the organisations supported by the Elton John AIDS Foundation, for which The Independent and Evening Standard are raising money this Christmas.
Sir Elton and Evgeny Lebedev, owner of the Standard and Independent, recently heard from groups such as Thrive after travelling to Atlanta, the Georgia city often touted as a shining example of the New South, but which has HIV infection rates comparable to cities in southern Africa. In the US today, a gay black man has a 50 per cent chance of being diagnosed as HIV positive. In Atlanta, the figure is closer to 60 per cent. Racism, homophobia, poverty and lack of education about HIV are all contributory factors.
Scott-Walker (whose seroversary is June 5, 2007) says Thrive SS, which also has branches in Washington DC, Oakland, California, and Charleston, South Carolina, offers 24/7 online support, unlike many government-supported groups that shut up shop at 5pm. And they allow alcohol at their meetings, which the third co-founder, Dwain Bridges, describes as being “like a fraternity”. Crucially, the aim is to be both flexible and authentic.
Driffin said the decision to take control of the day they tested positive was because, for many, the experience was utterly traumatic. He recalls when he was tested, a nurse pushed a piece of paper across the table to him, saying: “You know what that means.”
He refused to show any emotion in front of her and walked out to phone a close friend. She had just learned she was pregnant, so he told her: “I’ve got one on you — I just found out I have HIV.”
The group believe that by focusing on the experiences of the people they are trying to help, they can provide an essential network of support. Two years ago, Driffin spoke at the Democrat national convention in Philadelphia and urged young gay black men: “Go get tested, and then go vote.”
