Just as we attend school discos, get our first period or sneak a bottle of booze from our parents’ cupboards to drink with our pals down the park, having a celebrity crush is part and parcel of growing up; it is a rite of passage.
From plastering posters over our bedroom walls, to reciting lyrics, re-watching movies over and over, and fantasising about the day we miraculously meet our heroes – it’s not just about sexual awakening or hormones; for many it’s a form of escapism. And let's face it, without fans, there would be no celebrity culture.
But when the line between fantasy and reality is crossed, that’s when we really need to evaluate how much teens are exposed to – and find a way to offer them support.
Taking to Instagram last night, Spider-Man star Tom Holland, 24, posted a photo of his rumoured girlfriend Nadia Parkes, 23, on his grid. In the image, Nadia can be seen standing in front of a very ominous-looking cloud, donning a face mask.
Seemingly making their relationship ‘official’ (because we all know it’s not a thing unless there’s digital proof), Holland did not caption the post – or even tag Parkes in the photo, but has racked up nearly 5 million likes within just 15 hours of uploading the image.
However, while the Marvel actor has been met with support from fans, the couple have also been hit with a barrage of comments, attacking their relationship. And that’s not okay.
One user wrote: “Who is SHE? YOUR SISTER. SAY THAT,” with a series of huffing-face Emojis.
Another, meanwhile, added: “To the girl in this picture...Please take care of him...He's a keeper.”
And there are many more non-PG comments we can't add here.
Thankfully, others stepped in to defend Holland and Parkes, writing: "Y'all this is a huge deal that Tom even posted this, please don’t be rude and ruin him sharing his personal life with us."
Now that's not to say that every fan - or specifically, fangirl - is some intense preteen with obsessive tendencies, but the comments section on the post reveals an alarming fact about today's culture: teenagers are being exposed to far too much and don't understand the weight of their digital footprint.
At the ripe old age of 28 (I'm resigned to the fact there's no way of covering this topic without sounding ancient myself - even if I'm not), I still have celeb crushes and am all about the fangirl life; I scream my lungs out at gigs and force my friends to watch movies they don't want to see, just because Timothée Chalamet is in them. However, what I don't do - nor have I ever done this - is hang out near their houses, attack the appearance of their new girlfriends or suddenly stop supporting them because, shocker, they dare to have a life beyond their work.
Obviously social media plays a huge part in this; when I was growing up, there was no Instagram, Twitter or Facebook. At most we had a Piczo account (like a personal website), or a MySpace profile in our college years. We weren't all addicted to the online news cycle (because most of us had slow dial-up internet that could barely load a page in five minutes) and we certainly didn't know about every detail of our celeb crushes' personal lives. I'm sure if we did, my generation would have also been exposed and outed as the 'wrong kind of fan' online.
But what is important for young fans to realise is that celebrities are people, too. It is ordinarily extremely difficult to find someone you're compatible with, without the added pressure of society frowning upon your every move. And it's something we've seen time and again - from Taylor Swift being shamed for dating 'too many' men, to stars revealing they will only date other celebrities moving forward due to the intensity of being in the public eye.
Just last year I felt the wrath of an Ed Sheeran fan, and was sent a dead rodent (I kid you not) after a very innocent feature noting his cringey Game of Thrones cameo (it is, I'm sorry). The fact that people will go to such lengths to me does not show fan loyalty or highlight the many positives fandom brings; it shows that we're using our crushes as an excuse to behave in a completely unacceptable way.
Adults and parents need to be safeguarding their kids and teenagers and having serious chats with them about their digital footprint; what may seem like a temporary thing can have the potential to ruin lives. A stand alone comment may be screen-grabbed, reported and taken very seriously. Equally, the comment may have a lasting impact on the person it's intended for.
For the most part fanbases are safe spaces for like-minded people to come together and share their passion, but the small minority overstep the mark. Equally, the internet is full on wonderful opportunities that should be embraced, but it can also be a minefield.
Bottom line is: it's more than okay for Tom Holland to have a girlfriend - it's not okay to think that you get a say on it.